


Good Enough

by sichenqs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: #JusticeForSicheng2k18, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sad, where were winwin's lines?? screentime???, winwin deserves better, written after boss mv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 19:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14385885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sichenqs/pseuds/sichenqs
Summary: In which NCT watches the Boss music video(or, sometimes Sicheng feels like he isn't good enough. Yuta doesn't let him.)





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> oof okay i wrote this after i watched the boss music video and even though the song was great and the mv was great... winwin deserved better 
> 
> (unbeta-d, minorly edited)

It’s finally midnight, the moment they’ve all been waiting for — the new NCT U music video. 

All eighteen members sit around the laptop (today, the dreamies were exempted from their curfew), and excitedly refresh and refresh the youtube channel. Before they click on the video, Johnny stands up. 

“Everyone! Let’s congratulate our U members! I know the MV will be great, fighting!” He says, the seventeen heads around him cheer. 

They start the video, and all hell breaks loose. They’re all astonished by each aspect of the music video — the set, styling, vibe, everything. Yuta whistles as the camera pans down to Taeyong’s crotch, a book is thrown at him in response. 

The aesthetic of Ukraine is unbelievable, but that’s not what the members are excited about. “It’s coming! It’s coming! Xuxi you’re up!” Mark shouts. Yukhei’s legs shake as he anticipates his part.

He comes up on screen, all long legs, stark features and pouty lips. The rest of NCT screams. “As expected of our Xuxi!”, Taeyong grins. Mark and Yukhei rap their parts together and high-five, _‘a job well done’_ , Yukhei thinks. 

Laughs erupt around the room as Mark and Taeyong’s ‘fight scene’ starts playing. They both laugh and begin to fake wrestle on the table. They roll around, dancing and smiling, but are interrupted by Doyoung, “Jungwoo-ah!”, he yells. 

As expected, his and Jungwoo’s parts blow everyone out of the water. The vocal line of NCT U — Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Jungwoo — are a force to be reckoned with. The iconic rap duo comes up on screen next, a _‘marklee!’_ is heard in the distance. 

By this point in the video, all eighteen members are singing along to the chorus. _‘Don’t you know I’m a’_ is sung throughout the room, with the U members doing the choreography alongside them. Then, the video fades to black. 

Congratulations are exchanged but are cut-off as soon as Taeyong kicks the ‘non-legal’ members out. The remaining members scatter throughout the dorm living room, still in a haze from the excitement of the music video. They continue to chatter about the music video, still in amazement that _wow, they did **that**_. But something doesn’t sit well with one member, Winwin. 

He doesn’t wanna bring down the vibe of the other members, so he quickly excuses himself from all the festivities. “Taeyong hyung, I’m gonna go to bed, I’m kinda tired. Great job everyone!’ 

A chorus of _‘good night’s_ are heard from around the room. Sicheng shuffles out of the room, and Yuta follows suit. 

Yuta locks the door behind him; it only takes an _‘are you okay?’_ from him for Sicheng to burst into tears. 

“Hyung, am I not good enough?” Yuta’s heart breaks. 

“What? God, Sicheng, no. Don’t you think that for one second.” Yuta says. It breaks his heart that Sicheng doesn’t see his potential, no matter how much screen time he gets. “Never say—“ 

“I just don’t get it hyung. I mean— I knew I didn’t have lines, but I at least thought they’d give me some more screen time, you know? There’s a saying that ’the harder you work, the luckier you are’ did I not work hard enough?” His tears are gone by now, only to be replaced by the empty look in his eyes. 

“Hey— hey— no— Winko, don’t be like that. Hey, they saw your potential enough to put you in the new line-up. You have talent, you just don’t see it.” Yuta reasons. 

“Shit hyung, what’s the point of even being in the unit if I don’t do anything? This time, I’m the _only_ one that didn’t get shit. I’m just there so SM can expand their market to China, otherwise, I’m useless to them.” 

Yuta doesn’t respond. He’d be lying if he said he’d hadn’t thought that at one point (or still thinks like that). Sometimes he stays up at night wondering if this — leaving Osaka, learning a new language, practicing for hours and hours and hours — was worth it. 

He pulls Sicheng into a tight embrace because if anyone in NCT knows how he’s feeling, it’s Yuta. They stay like that for a while, feeling the warmth of each others’ bodies. 

A few moments pass and Sicheng laughs meekly, “God I’m such a fucking disappointment. I should’ve stayed in Zhongxi, should’ve gotten my degree and stayed in China.” 

Yuta pulls Sicheng tighter and kisses him on the forehead, “No baby, you’re not a disappointment. Please don’t say that.” He whispers into Sicheng’s ear. 

“Do you know how long it took me to convince my parents to let me pursue this? This— hah— whatever _‘this’_ is.” Sicheng’s weak laughs turn into wracked up sobs as he cries harder into Yuta’s shoulder. “And I know I should be thankful. Some of the boys at the company will never debut and that breaks my fucking heart.” 

Yuta only listens, he doesn’t protest or interrupt him. Instead, he kisses him on his forehead, cheeks, eyelids, hands — anywhere he can reach. If it were any other day, his words would’ve been able to console Sicheng, but not today, not today. 

“What’s pathetic though is that I’ll never leave. I love doing this too much, I love you guys too much.” Sicheng closes his eyes and curls into Yuta, he takes deep breaths and wipes away his tears. 

“Shh, it’s okay baby. Just sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.” 

And so they lay there, two men (boys, really) in a country away from their own. In a house away from their homes; wondering if _‘this’_ was all really worth it. 

(It is, in the end.)

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first fic here on ao3, hope you all enjoyed! 
> 
> if anyone was wondering, 'zhongxi' is the colloquial term for beijing's central academy of drama, where sicheng differed for 2(?) years in order to be in nct. 
> 
> talk to me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/_kimjongout)


End file.
